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Happiness in marriage, fight for it

“Don’t ever feel alone. If you are sad, I am sad. If you are sick, I am also sick. We are going through all of this together. You are not alone…I won’t let you alone. Trust me… I’ll be with you…forever…” I felt like I was drowning. I couldn’t see anything. Dark, everywhere was dark. My tears were hovering in my eyes and I yelled out: Why? Why? Why it seems that I don’t deserve to be happy. Where are You my Lord? Just watching me in pain like this?…

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My wish for 2012

I have written 4 books actually, 3 have been published and 1 unpublished. The unpublished one was a long and painfull story, but I learned a lot though. That’s life. Some of my friends asked me to give the manuscript to another publisher. I thought about it sometimes, but then I decided not. I don’t have a willingness to revise and to try to publish it again. My heart is still like a broken glass, not yet recover probably or just too lazy to make a revision. Currently I am…

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Read and observed to uncover the mistery of myself

I had mix feelings lately. Actually I already feel enough and tired with what I did previously. I have several plans and want to move forward. But, I don’t know why, it seems that the universe has conspired to draw me back more deeply to the things that I did. I can’t move. I can’t refuse. I am just like a boat rower who wants to row my boat as fast as I can so I can arrive quickly to the beach. But, I can’t. I have to row my…

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Taking Risks

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.” – Paulo Coelho “You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.” – Paulo Coelho I do not know why, but those quotes have been occupying my mind since I found them Yesterday. Previously, it was so me. I do not like status qua and I love taking risks. What Paulo Coelho said is true. I gained many many experiences because of taking the risks and I really enjoyed all…

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A Priceless life

Love, education and hard working. Those are the messages from ‘9 summers 10 autumns’ a novel from a true story by Iwan Setyawan that I have just read. Yes, I have finished reading that book just because we have a long weekend holiday. Never I hate a holiday except this holiday, my project can not move, I just stay at home and do nothing. Anyway, reading this book has ‘cured’ me. Even though I have to delay my project, I got something from this book.

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My First Academic Essay: Implementing Rotavirus Vaccination in Indonesia

This is my first 5 pages academic essay in English as an assignment for my vaccinology course. I publish this essay because during my writing process, I had difficulty to look for some data, especially when I sought data from my country. Besides, this topic is not too academic, quite easy to understand and it might useful for those who are interested. I just remember a nice quote from my Mexican friend,”live is sharing, sharing is life”, so hopefully my essay would somehow be useful.

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Special Father for a Special Daughter

Dear Lord. Forgive me. I am just too happy with my selves recently, and exited with what I got here. Now I am crying. I am crying because my husband just sent me his diary, diary of a single parent. Hiks Oh God how hard is life for him, but he is always happy, smiles, and thinks positively. He is the one who teaches me to face the world with smiling and changing everything in a positive way. I never saw him complaining, sad or sending negative energies, and he…

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Finding the Way

Sunday, 9 January 2011 At the train, Amsterdam-Berlin After having holiday for 3 weeks, I have to go back to Berlin, back to my student life. Honestly, 3 weeks were enough, I miss my student life already. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love my family. I do, of course. But after my children went back to school in the last week of my holiday, I got bored and captured by the same previous feeling, feeling when I didn’t study yet, feeling useless when I just stay at home and…

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Lost

Today, the future is frightening Today, I lost my faith  and my dream Today, I feel terrible Today, I feel like I want to die

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Getting old

Getting older isn’t nice, is it? I’m always happy if someone said that I’m still like a teenager or a student. My heart always flies if my new friends were surprised and said “ What? Do  you already have two big children? Are you kidding? You look so young!” I smiled gleefuly when I walked with my children, met with other people and they said,”Are they your nephew and niece?” Or even worse they would said,”Are they your brother and sister?” What? My children? Brother and sister? Oh come on,…

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