Happiness and The ‘Tiger Cage’

My friends have told me, the place that I want to pursue my dream is a very uncomfortable place. Knowing their experiences and hearing what they said, I can imagine how hard it is, to be there, as if I would come in to a tiger cage.

Can you imagine? Someone who wants to be there has to pay thousands or hundreds million rupiahs, but after that she or he has no more time left for their families even for themselves. Even worse, divorce rates, stressed, and depresion increase among the participants!

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Miss You So

I woke up
You were not there

Didn’t know why
There was a pang
There was a frightening
There was a longing
In my heart

Couldn’t imagine
If you and me
have to be apart

I will miss you
I even miss you so
Now.

Diemen, 10 March 2010

When my beloved one, goes for a while.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow and in The End

When mortals are alive, they worry about death. When they’re full, they worry about hunger. Theirs is the Great Uncertainty. But sages don’t consider the past. And they don’t worry about the future. Nor do they cling to the present. And from moment to moment they follow the Way.” ( Bodhidharma quotes)

Yesterday, I had a Grey day. Then, my husband sent me this quote and I was touched. It reminded me not to worry about the future and to enjoy the present time, moment to moment. I’m learning to live in the present time, moment to moment, but I never know that in fact it is just easy to say, very hard to do. My thoughts, my monkey minds, always grips me, like a tiger grasps its prey.

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Make a list of your obsession

“Make a list of your obsession,” said Natalie Goldberg on ‘Writing Down the Bones and I agree with her. Although sometimes, I couldn’t write all of my obsessions, but make a list can make me keep writing. My obsession now is to write in English about everything I want. After writing two short essays, I think it is nice to write about something more personal in English because I get a feeling that if I write in this language, just few people will be interested to read my writing (for Indonesian people I mean).

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